Monday, September 26, 2011

Trying to let go of my definition of "me time"

The boys threw me a bone this morning:  they let ME wake up FIRST!  I couldn’t believe it.  I opened my eyes and the boys were quietly still sleeping.  It was about 6:55am.  Their alarm goes off at 7am.  (Actually, it’s a stoplight clock and the red light stays on all night until 7am, then the green light turns on…..there isn’t an actual sounding alarm.)  I just stayed there in bed, quickly calculating how many hours of sleep I got.  7 WHOLE HOURS!  In a row!  And I didn’t wake up at all during the middle of the night, like I usually do.  And I didn’t take a sleeping pill.  (Although I did wear earplugs to drown out Bobby’s snoring.)  And then another thing dawns on me…..I don’t have my usual morning headache!  I am just amazed.  I felt good!  A few minutes later, at just after 7am, Harrison comes into our room to tell us the light is green.  A few minutes later, I hear Alex running out of the room to go play in the living room.  A few more minutes and Will wakes up.  So I get up, too, and start our usual morning routine and I start to think how good I feel and why can’t I get sleep like this more often?  I know it’s rare for them to wait until the green light turn on.  On average, they wake up closer to 6am.  So all I need to do is go to bed an hour earlier, right?  That seems easy enough.  I’m so tired of averaging 5 to 6 hours a night and waking up once, usually around 3am.  So why don’t I just go to bed at 11pm?  Because I’m too busy having “me time.”  After putting the boys to bed around 7:15pm (yes, I worked hard to get them to all to go to bed at the same time and that early!) I clean up the kitchen, fold clothes, send out emails, go grocery shopping, etc.  So by 9:30pm, I’m ready for some time to myself!  I go on Facebook, shop online, play Scrabble on my iPhone (I’m so addicted.)  Then I turn on the tv and watch some shows on our DVR.  Or I’ll put in a movie to watch, usually Twilight or Eclipse.  Then after that, I’ll pick up a book and read for a bit. So by the time I actually turn off my light to go to sleep, it’s after midnight.  My time to myself every evening is so precious to me!  I NEED it!  But having all that sleep last night and feeling so good this morning, not having to rely on a Pepsi for caffeine or 4 Advils to get rid of my headache (and it only temporarily gets rid of it for the morning,) made me rethink about my “me time.”  The thing that sucks about going to sleep early is that I don’t actually SEE my “me time.”  I don’t see any results, such as finishing a book or catching up on my tv shows.  But getting to bed early, I get to FEEL my “me time” when I wake up in the morning.  I feel go great and without a headache!  So I’m trying to change my definition of “me time” from doing things I want to do, to doing things that make me feel good.  So my chores are done and it’s just after 10pm.  I’m going to get off the computer and watch one tv show, then read for a bit.  I plan to turn the light off at 11pm.  And plan B is to turn the light off at midnight.  :)

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