Today I am Veruca Salt.
I want it all. I want it now. I want life to be
perfect. But a perfect life doesn’t
include millions of dollars, a big house, a housekeeper, a cook, a chauffeur, a
full time masseuse. For me, life would
be perfect if my son didn’t have autism.
Once a year, usually around the time of his IEP, I get sad, seeing that
word all over pages and pages. But he
hasn’t had his IEP yet. I am filling out
the school forms for Alex to start kindergarten in the fall. I’ve only written the word down a few
times. But what is making me cry is that
he isn’t going to get to go to school with his twin brother, or with his big
brother. Alex needs to go to another
school that has a special needs program.
For the past two years, he has been attending a separate school from his
twin brother, Will. But they also share
a school, too. Will attends a preschool
5 days a week and Alex attends the same school twice a week, one of those days
he is shadowed by his social and behavioral therapist. So for the last two years, he’s been with one
of his brothers at school. But this fall, Will,
and their big brother, Harrison, will be together. And for the first time, Alex will be
alone. It just breaks my heart. I tried to work things out with the
schools. I tried to figure out a way to
get them all in one school. But I had to
look at each of their individual needs and in the end, this is just what is
best for them. I know that tomorrow, I
will be smiling again, and I will be so extremely grateful for all that I
have. But for today, I’m going to wish
for something I can’t get. And then for
the rest of the year, I’ll remember all the hundreds of wishes I did get.
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