Let It Go

Let It Go.  Yes, just like the title in the song from the movie Frozen.  Those 3 words have a lot of meaning for me tonight.  You see, tomorrow, my son Alex (who is on the Autism Spectrum) is going on a field trip with his fellow first graders.  He's been on many field trips in the past.  And I have chaperoned each and every one.  He's always ridden in my van with his classmates.  He is my priority for field trips, not his two mainstream brothers.  I know they'll be okay.  But I'm always there on Alex's trips to watch him; make sure he doesn't wander off; make sure he doesn't have a meltdown; make sure he doesn't have sensory overload (i.e. things are too loud or too crowded.)  Just make sure he stays safe.  But tomorrow I have chosen not to chaperone his field trip.  I did my best to plan it out.  He is going to be in a place that he is very familiar with.  So I know he's comfortable there.  The place is only a 10-minute drive from his school.  So if he's in a car he is uncomfortable with, it'll be for a short period of time.  And I feel he's very comfortable with his teacher, intervention specialist and his friends in his class.  At first, I told myself, "Yes, I can trust his teacher and specialist.  They will take good care of them."  And yes, I do trust them.  But I realized tonight that it isn't just them.  I trust Alex.  I trust him not to wander off.  I trust him to control himself to minimize a meltdown.  I trust him to speak up if things are too loud or too crowded.  I trust Alex to stay safe.  Will I still make him hold my hand when we are in a busy parking lot or walking across a street?  Yes.  Will I still do head counts every 10 minutes when I'm at the park with him and his brothers?  Yes.  But for tomorrow, I will trust Alex.  I will let it go.  And he's going to be just fine.