Today was a milestone for us; at least, in our family. For the first time ever, I took my 3 boys to
a movie theater all by myself. Years
ago, when Alex was in preschool, we tried to take him and his brothers to see a
movie. Alex couldn’t do it. The theater was too much stimulation for
him. He became distressed and I took him
out of the theater while Bobby stayed with the Harrison and Will to finish the
movie. After that, we stayed away from
movie theaters and just waited for movies to come out on DVD. Luckily, a friend of mine told me about a
drive-in movie theatre that was about 30 minutes away. We tried that and it was perfect! We were able to control how loud the sound
was. The boys stayed in the van and so
it wasn’t too crowded for Alex. And
being outside, it wasn’t as dark as an indoor theater. It worked out so well and that’s how we took
the boys to watch movies. We did that
for about 4 years. A couple of years
ago, when Alex had ABA therapy, I talked to his team and suggested a goal: to have Alex be able to watch a movie inside
a theater. They thought it was a great
goal and they worked with him on it. We
talked with him about it, we prepped him, we bought him head phones to help
minimize the sound. We finally felt he
was ready to try it so his Behavioral Interventionist and I, along with
Harrison and Will, brought Alex to see a movie.
I don’t remember the movie but what I do remember is that Alex did
great! He did have to take a break
during the movie and his interventionist took him out for a few minutes but he
was able to return and finish the movie!
It was a fantastic day! So ever
since then, I would take the boys to see movies indoors. But I was always with another adult, either Bobby,
my mom friends, or Alex’s BI’s. Never by
myself. What if Alex had a
meltdown or sensory overload? Would I pull all boys out of
the movie (and have Harrison and Will be disappointed or angry that their
brother is different?) I wasn’t
comfortable of the idea of leaving the two of them alone if I had to stay
outside with Alex. Flash forward to
today, June 30, 2017. All 3 boys wanted
to see Despicable Me 3. Bobby had to
work and he actually didn’t want to see the movie. So I bought our tickets a couple days ago and
asked some friends to join us. But everyone
had scheduling conflicts so I decided to take a deep breath and just go for
it. I felt that Harrison and Will were
old enough to leave alone in the theater, if needed. And the last movies we had seen, Alex was
able to handle them. Armed with popcorn,
candy, Icees, frozen lemonade, a pair of headphones and a blanket (Alex feels more secure with a
blanket wrapped around him during movies) we went into the theater. It was crowded but I bought seats towards the
top, on the aisle, so we could easily dash out, if needed. It wasn’t needed. Alex stayed the entire time! No meltdowns!
No distress! He was comfortable
and enjoyed the movie! As I looked over
at my 3 boys, watching the movie, I thought, “Wow, Alex has come so far!” Then I realized, by having confidence in
Harrison and Will to stay safe in the theater on their own, by having
confidence in Alex to be able to handle watching the movie the whole time,……I
have come far, too. I've learned to trust my boys and trust myself and let go. With Alex, I tend to
hold on pretty tight with him. And by default, I hang on tight to Harrison and
Will, too. Today, I learned how to
loosen my grip. Just a little bit. Not sure if I’ll ever be able to let go. But does a mom ever?
